In the process

[newmama]

Hi Avermont! Good "seeing" you!

I'm absolutely terrified of open, honest convo. Which is why I'm here, of course!

Funny you should say that because so was I! And today I kept thinking about how irked I was by being "led" on and then suddenly "dropped" with no explanation. I was thinking that people need to know when they are being rude or that it isn't ok to treat others a certain way! I need to know it, too, if/when I do that!

I had an assistant pull me aside earlier this year, crying, because she felt I was pushing her aside and snapping at her...I was. Not because I didn't like her but because I was SO STRESSED OUT) She called me on it. I had to own up to my actions, I admitted I was wrong, and I have changed my behavior in response to that conversation. We have been working well together since.

Now, I know it is unhealthy to prolong "the agony" in order to continue to have contact with a person (i.e. breaking NC, or picking a fight, or just finding some excuse to talk to them again).

But what if you don't have enough history to have "agony?" Why not just assert your boundaries?

On Wed at 5:30 zoobrew said "Hi ho newmama! Just stinkin' thinkin' of y'all. Hope you and your wee lad are well. Cheers, zoobrew"

I replied " Hi, zoobrew.Finished up with conferences and S is doing well. What's on your mind? Newmama"
THEN this:
"Should I assume you didn't my text several weeks back since I never got a reply?"

So my prediction? a) I will never hear from that scaredy cat again b)"no- I didn't get your text!"

if he says (b) then I will simply say "just so you know, when you send me a text saying you are thinking of me, it makes me think that you might want to see me again. Is this true?"

AND I WANT HIM TO ANSWER THE QUESTION! BUT HERE IS THE CRUEL PART:

I don't care if ever see him again. I don't want to put in the effort. BUT I WANT HIM TO LEARN THAT HE NEEDS TO NOT SEND MIXED SIGNALS TO PEOPLE!!

am I on the right track at all?