putting my big girl panties on

[flowmom]

Aver!!!

It sounds like things are moving fast--I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but interestingly-to me it feels really SCARY! But I'm the one with the commitment issues, right?

I don't think there's much in the way of commitment involved at this point except for being exclusive. Which is fine because I find juggling men tiresome. But it is a bit scary to move things from playing it cool to seeing my lover making himself vulnerable, and facing the choice of whether to allow myself to do that too.

FB is such a strange, f**ed up world, IMHO. Links upon links; perhaps perfectly innocent posts that an outsider (Flowmom) reading can easily misinterpret. And then spend emotional energy worrying and wondering.

Yes, but that's not really about FB, it's about facing that I have choices to make regarding trust, communication, etc. with Guitarist right now. It was reassuring to get a steamy text from him today :), but that doesn't change that things are on the cusp of shifting between us.

Of course I'm jealous that you have had not one, but two men come a'courting Good for you!

I am very lucky . But it wasn't exactly accidental...I did put myself out there on a dating site and that's how I met Guitarist. I think the other guy just picked up on my "out there" vibes when we met through my neighbours.

That was part of my problem with my W. Things got stale and the time it took to raise a family became more important than the two of us spending time together and appreciating one another. Boring. Same old story.

You don't have to tell me THAT story

On Monday night, I had all four kids in my our bedroom playing guitars and singing Johnny Cash songs.

Love it IDU. Your children will treasure those memories forever.

ABG, I pick "I Liked You Better before I Knew You So Well"

He is full steam ahead and I vaccillate between catching up with him and holding back.

You have no idea why there are these large swings.

The part of me that lives in the moment is right there with him. The part of me that holds back is more fear-based of course...wanting to control outcomes by protecting myself, etc. The devastation of recent heartbreak still casts a shadow. What I want is to be fully open to life. Because worse than the heartbreak was losing myself in my marriage, not being fully myself.

I do get attached easily...it's my nature, not just where I'm at right now. I make up my mind about people quickly and when I like someone it takes a lot to change my mind.

This has worked well for you in the past, and you feel you will do well by it with this relationship.

Yes, I see where you're going with this. I think it *does* work well for me to be fully myself...and that includes being a passionate person (not just in romantic relationships). If I have a regret it's not the times that I've fully embraced relationships, friendships, interests. My regrets come from not changing things up when things stop working. IME artificially putting the brakes on things early in a relationship doesn't change the choices that I make. I think the danger is in what kind of "hook" a person is for you. M, the fellow who almost became my beau, was the wrong kind of hook -- a lot in common with stbxh. I think and hope that I would have ended things if he hadn't.

Thanks for helping me revive my thread folks