I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

Had a conversation with an attorney in my church group. I realized I'm trying to have it both ways.

I've never wanted the divorce so early on I adopted a stance that I will not lift a finger to move it along. If STBXW wants a divorce then it's up to her. When she tried to talk to me about house issues, I refused to talk. I've, for the most part, only reacted.

Now, I'm frustrated that nothing seems to be getting resolved.

I can't have it both ways. I can either continue the original path of not being an active participant so years from now when discussing this I can tell the girls I never wanted a divorce and tried everything I could to stop it. Or I can -- as my friend said -- talk to STBXW or email her and try to get some things resolved and get this going.

In the end, even if it's not the smartest thing financially, I'm going to follow the first path. I did not want the divorce -- not until all avenues to save it were exhausted -- so it's STBXW's job to divorce me.

I realize this is not smart. I just can't discuss divorce with STBXW. I just can't.

Funny. Originally, tonight was going to be the first post-STBXW real date and instead it became all about the D and a dead romance.