Today I took samples of fingerprints from BMF to the forensic scientist. Not sure how long it will take him to do the analysis.
BMF's former GF has been acting very strangely toward me for a couple weeks. She is acting like her feelings are hurt about something.
Played table tennis tonight with XH for 2 hours. We laughed a lot and really had a lot of fun. On the way out of the building, XH said "Oh, let's reserve for next week".
I had asked XH if we could talk afterward (to give him an update on the forensic testing), so we went to a little restaurant that we used to go to a lot. XH told me all about a big problem at work for about 20 minutes. I listened and validated.
Then I told XH about the latest forensic result and about BMF's GF. I have kind of had the sense that OW#2 was still in the picture and something that XH said must have confirmed that suspicion for me, so I asked him about it. He said that OW#2 had come back to him 1 week after he broke it off with her in September (he said he broke it off because she wanted to get M and he didn't) and they have been together since that time. I said "Does OW#2 know that we play ping pong?" He said "No........She's not really someone that I intend to be with in a long-term R". I said "Did you keep secrets from me when we were together?" He made a facial expression to indicate "kinda" (not sure what those secrets might have been).........and quickly added "I never cheated on you".........Then I looked at him and said "You're really good at the first part (of a R), but not so good after that". I started to ask him how long he had been with OW#2 and he said "certainly not when we were together".
I had brought an inkpad to get his fingerprints and after that he fingerprinted himself. After that we walked out of the restaurant. I walked directly to my car (not in an angry way, just businesslike) and looked over my shoulder to say goodbye (no hug like we normally would do in the past --- I didn't give him a hug last week either). He looked a little surprised and said "See you later". I said "Yes".
Shortly after I got home I phoned him on his cell (he picked up quickly) to say I just wanted to say thank you very much for helping me to get BMF's fingerprints. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you". He said "I was glad to help. I want to know who sent you the package too". We chatted for about a minute and I said goodbye.
...........Here's what I need to vent and would very much like feedback on. I have endured the indignity of smiling when my heart was breaking and returning thoughtlessness with thoughtfulness since the bomb 25 months ago.........and the reason I did this was because I truly loved the man that I was M to and felt that he was going through a mental health crisis........and I DO think that he continues to be stuck in an earlier developmental stage. I always felt that he was a wonderful person and always wondered (like most of his friends always wondered too) how he could have such an immoral BMF........Now that XH has confirmed that he is still "dating" OW#2 even though he doesn't see any potential for a long-term R and not telling her about our table tennis games, this situation just feels SO sleazy to me and I feel that I deserve better. I feel that I am seeing the real man in a way that my love for him didn't allow me to before. I continue to lose respect for him (I haven't told him this) when I had him on a pedestal for such a long time.
I'm feeling like telling XH that I won't be a party to this sleaziness...........yet at the same time I know that DBing says that when you can become H/XH's OW, that can be a good thing.
Just frustrated and hoping others may have different perspectives on this situation. Thoughts are welcome.
