Reminds me of the old married couple in counseling - the wife's complaint was that in 50 years of marriage, her H never told her he loved her. His response: "On our wedding day I told you I loved you; if anything changes, I'll let you know."
Originally Posted By: WorkingItOutNow
but what I am missing is the commitment and remorse for his actions. That is what is missing.
Perhaps you have an idea about what he could say and do that would demonstrate commitment and remorse.
Originally Posted By: WorkingItOutNow
And we certainly throw the D word at each other but don't follow it up. This morning we did (happens almost every time we argue).
It's understandable to say things during an argument that are really not meant; maybe you would be willing to express why you use the D word at those times.
Originally Posted By: WorkingItOutNow
Anyway he says he is not happy and not in love with me anymore and that he has been miserable for the most part of our marriage (obviosly not true). He says he is emotionally disconnected from me
And how do you respond when that is said?
Originally Posted By: WorkingItOutNow
I never sought him during those 2 months until he decided he wanted to work on our marriage.
Perhaps that gives you some thoughts about what might happen now.
Originally Posted By: WorkingItOutNow
Guess we never gave it our all and didn't deal with all our problems.
You wouldn't be the first - perhaps you are feeling at this point that would happen again if the emotional intimacy were re-established.
Originally Posted By: WorkingItOutNow
As someone said one person can change a marriage (though not easy as I truly sometimes feel like giving up and that I do not have the strength). So that's my dilemna
Perhaps you're not even sure that you even want to work on the marriage, since the problems seem too large and difficult to cope with.
