In my experience, throwing in the consequence early on makes it heavier than needed, and less effective overall.
Now you're saying early on... before it was only as a last resort.
The debate now appears to be what kind of transgression or how many transgressions have to take place before a full boundary (with both components) are verbalized?
I think its important when dating to not be ridiculous.. If you are on a first date and someone takes out a cigarette and you don't want to be around smoking simply asking them not to do that while you are there is understandable...
I wouldn't even call that a boundary, its just stating a preference at that point...
If the person does it anyways, after the preference is stated then I think its time to speak up...
Once the person knows the rules and they break them anyways then its time to kick into gear...
And no, i don't find it worrisome that you offer people advice.. I DO find it worrisome that your position keeps changing...
