Always and Forever??????

[irishblessings]

I have been trying to prepare myself for S's basketball season where I will see H frequently at S's games. We were the "team parents" for our kids - and it is just difficult to feel so exposed. We were the ones who held hands and were friends with each other. We didn't speak badly of one another with friends - there was always that respect.

Now H is VERY confident (outwardly) about all he is doing. I can't be around that right now. I tried so hard to keep the marriage going after H's disclosures - I think it weakened me more than I thought. I actually feel stronger by keeping my distance. I don't want to present as weak - I'm not weak. I just want to feel centered.

25 - I am SO grateful for your return to this board and your input. Everyone here has been so incredibly helpful. I don't want to walk down bitter street - and I certainly don't want this to define the rest of my life. I just feel like this grief has been a long time coming and I have to let it out.