Wanted: Large dose of patience

[dolphin_05]

.Cas, is it possible that MIL and FIL really amplified your mixed feelings about H? That must have been very difficult. I've gotten to the point where I can't really talk to most of my friends about standing for my XH.

Yes! I think my MIL forgets that I have feelings. She thinks I should be friendly with H but that is all. She doesn't get that there's a very fine line there. When she said H likes living on his own I thought that was a message that told me I had no place with him. That may well have amplified my feelings.

I don't talk to anyone else about standing either. People just think you're crazy!!

I know that even if I give up on XH, I am not healed enough to get into another R right now.

Ditto! I guess the healing only takes place with space. The matchmaker friends think that finding a new partner will take away your pain and then you'll have moved on emotionally.

I'm thinking about you Cas and I will say a prayer for you tonight. Wish I was closer so we could chat over some coffee.

Thank you GAG. I really appreciate that. I've got a feeling that we might start with a morning coffee and we'd have so much chatting we'd have to order lunch, too!

Thanks, too for the reading assignments! I have done my reading and am absorbing the points taken.

Lots on atm so at least I don't have time to be thinking too much about things.
What I do know is that we were getting along so well....better than we have in 4 years. I honestly think H got scared because he enjoyed our time together as well. He has 'acted out' because he knows I will notice and be hurt and that it will allow him to back off. Then he asks for the settlement stuff via email and that's the sign he uses for me that he's never changed his mind. His outward signs are, "I don't need you!" However, because he's not totally detached he helps with D at a moment's notice cheerfully, offers me tomatoes and brings my bins up after collection.

Gotta fly....work is calling. Thanks for your ongoing support GAG