I read what robx said about changes. Seemed very harsh. Before the bomb, I hadn't realized my H wanted changes, saw someone else as better. the bomb made me think and question myself, what I'd missed and done wrong, although there was a third party. The result was the realization that some changes had to come, I'm trying to get there. I've never felt I was insulting my H by taking a part of his point. He's not made any comments, really, and I don't ask. But I hoped that trying to learn lessons and evolve was respecting the other spouse, trying to see their point of view. I realize any change should square with who I am and be permanently do-able. But saying that making changes is insulting our WAS is disheartening.
I suppose robx is talking about controlling yourself and forgetting about influencing the other? NCU
Me: 46 H:42 Together for 18 yrs, married 14. 3 children: 2 girls 13 and 10, one boy 7. Husband had affair, ended it and then decided on separation. Separated 08/2010