IDU - thanks I am working towards letting him go, slowly but surely. It's not easy but with the resources I am getting here it gets easier. So what happened with ur wife?
You are right, it's not easy. You are still pretty early in the whole scheme of things. I remember not wanting to get out of bed, when I was on my way home from work getting that feeling in the pit of my stomach and not wanting to face her when I got home, all that crap. I was worried about how she felt toward me. I didn't think I would ever get over what was happening.
With the help of people here, you will get over it. You really have to listen and do some uncomfortable things. You realize it's not all your fault and that you are worth more than the way you are being treated. You will get there.
As far as what is happening with my W, it isn't going as well as I had hoped. She is still involved in an EA and will not stop contacting the OM. It slowed down for a while but it just went underground I now believe. I still have some of those hard decisions to make and I'm not quite where I need to be in the detachment department.
Anyway, try to learn from my mistakes and from others who try to change to win their S back. It won't work. Tough love, as they say, is your best chance to save the M. More importantly, to save yourself.
P.S. Listen to Sandi. She tells it like it is and is a courageous lady herself. I wasn't ready to hear some of the things she had to say early on but I can say she was and is 100% right with her suggestions and information.
Read and learn and never be afraid to ask questions no matter how silly they may seem.
