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Originally Posted By: Starsky309
Originally Posted By: LanceSijan
Please join SG on her new thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...;gonew=1#UNREAD

This one is too long.



Narc. wink


Was there a purpose in this response?

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Quote:
This approach to boundaries is not bad. For me the "consequence" approach conveys a parental attitude, since that is what is given to one's children for their behavior. If I'm dealing with a child, then that is appropriate.


I am training for a marathon, one of the consequences is that I have lost weight and reduced body fat.

the consquence is just the result of behavior.


My daughter studied hard for her science test and as a consequence she made a 93.


Stop trying to pigeonhole boundaries or consequences as negative things. They are healthy and loving for all parties.


When I type out a quote for how to express a boundary it is all about behavior and they are normally very effective when presented well. It let's the WAS know what the deal is and the LBS can regain some control over themselves instead of being in victim mode.


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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Originally Posted By: LanceSijan
Originally Posted By: Starsky309
Originally Posted By: LanceSijan
Please join SG on her new thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...;gonew=1#UNREAD

This one is too long.



Narc. wink


Was there a purpose in this response?



My people call it humor. cool


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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SG used to be a moderator.

Figure she still has connections there guys.

Knowing is half the battle.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
SG used to be a moderator.

Figure she still has connections there guys.

Knowing is half the battle.


Hence the "narc" joke.

The other half is doing what what you know you should do.

BE + DO = HAVE


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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Originally Posted By: Coach
Originally Posted By: LanceSijan
Originally Posted By: Starsky309
Originally Posted By: LanceSijan
Please join SG on her new thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...;gonew=1#UNREAD

This one is too long.



Narc. wink



Was there a purpose in this response?



My people call it humor. cool

That is only 1 whistle whistle

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Wasn't aware if Star was aware of the knowledge.

Trying to be helpful.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Since when is consequence talk "parental?"

Dont' we fire employees who dont perform the expectations of their employment?

Don't we arrest, try, and incarcerate proven criminals?

Don't we excuse people from areas when they are disturbing other members of the public?

If someone lights up a cigarette in a non-smoking restaurant they would expect the restaurant management to toss them no?

How does any of these consequences imply anyone is being treated like a child?

They are being treated like somone who is being rude, selfish, and hurtful... adults are as good at that as are children...

And since adults have more money, friends, and license to act freely they are more of a threat than a child...

I don't recall the last time a 5 year onld on a tricycle ran someone over and got arrested for drunk driving...

I fail to see how consequence talk is parental.. maybe to you Arnie, but you may be in the minority on that one...

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How you convey the message is usaully just as important as the message.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Messages: The Communication Skills Book

http://www.amazon.com/Messages-Communica...5977&sr=1-2

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