Just reflecting a bit here--went to my L's to prepare for mediation next week. Asked her if I can delay a bit, and she said sure--she can get sick or have something come up next week no problem.lol.
The reason I am thinking like this is because my H is making the SMALLEST of baby steps that he has doubts. One of them, though, is a huge one to me--he is willing to have sex pretty frequently. He has re-written history of course--he only used porn because I wouldn't have sex at ll-12 pm when he got home from work.
Um, I can't tell you what nonsense this is--I am going crazy at all hours of the night and day due to my LL not being met on any sort of level, but I digress.
I think the OG thing has prompted him changing his mind this way. And I got a hug from an aquaintance (guy) the other day that, hands down, was the best hug I've ever gotten. I told H about it--that THIS is the way to hug someone (for his future reference when he is a single guy). I made sure to give all the details and how it made me feel. He seems to be looking at me in a whole new way--like maybe I'm not the miserable wretch he has made me out to be??
I would like a bit of time to explore this, we are getting along fine, I am not having it so bad really at all! And I would prefer to do this after the holidays.
And in the meantime I can figure out more what I really want out of this (house? house and trailer? etc).
