WAW 20 years not sure where I am right now.

[Steve McQueen]

What is the best way to approach the rope drop.?

accept the separation. take 30, 60, 90 more days of concentrating on yourself. let them come to you.

validate them by allowing them to pursue you.

[soleil]

^^ THIS!!!

[Pensacolabroken]

Steve,

okay. I will be good by still getting her to move into her own place right? that is validating? I am accepting her desire to separate and am helping her achieve that. Does that fit with the accepting?

[Pensacolabroken]

Point is I want to minimize my contact with her except needed to get her out of my house and discuss the finances.. that is still fair game correct?

[Pensacolabroken]

Okay Talked to WAW to finalize some last minute details. I tell her we can sell the remainder of our mutual fund to get her a place and pay for the 2 months until I get picked up again for my deployment. I tell her this is what is best and she tells me, she is looking for a place but the place she was interesested in from Yesterday is suddenly rented? WTF?!?!

I told her fine, keep looking and dont let money stop you. I really want you out.

Now she plays the drama.. WHY WONT SHE LEAVE??

[Coach]

Now she plays the drama.. WHY WONT SHE LEAVE??

Because -

you stopped pursuing

you set a boundary

you let her go

she attracted again


Do what works.

[Pensacolabroken]

Coach.

thanks. I am moving out temporarily today. I told her as you can see I plan on coming back in a week or two tops..

I am miminimizing my contact with her except as required for my Son.

I also plan on getting boxes tomorrow and bringing them by for her to pack her crap in.

[Pensacolabroken]

I meant I am coming back ina week or two AFTER she moves the hell out.

[Pensacolabroken]

Put my wedding ring on the table. I wont be here when she gets home.

Wrote her a letter telling her I am letting go and wont live with someone who is or has had an affair. I agree with her decision and will help her move.

I wrote I am letting go and wish her well.

[konfuseeed]

Don't give her the letter, you don't need to keep telling her that. Don't go overboard with that sh!t cause ti wil come across as fake.

Just act it.

And don't wait until she moves out to go back home. Give her two weeks, tops, to get out, and then go back.