Thanks guys. What u say is so true. I think he thinks I am just bluffing and wont do anything about it. He is actually planning a trip for the two of us next month to our home country. Obviously we wil b presenting the sham of a happy family to our folks which we are not. As it is, I have already found a place that I can move in to end of month. I just have to pay the rentals and move in. Many pple are advising me against moving out. But I feel it is the right thing to do as I want to give H a wake up call and make him realise that I will not always be around whilst he is being emotionally abusive. But then I have my own fears...what if the seperation don't produce the right results like H doesn't do a thing abt reviving this marriage. I was thinking if I do not move out I could follow the resources on this forum eg 180 etc. We seem to be stuck in a circle of doing 'things' at each other...though of late it has been mainly him. I am trying to change. As well as concetrate on myself. I am also tring to listen to what he says through his outbursts and anger, eg, 1. I am disrespectful (though he is disrespectful of me too)But I am trying to break the circle. 2. I am manipulative (maybe a little as sometimes I twist situatons to get my way) Not so wise. 3. My anger - when I am angry I am really angry and we end up shouting at each other. A lot of anger and hurtful things has happened this past few weeks esp in regards to the A.
All this time I was concetrating on trying to change him and trying to make him see the error of his ways. As well as what he said and did (It really did affect me still does but working on it). Now I am trying to follow the theme Dont believe to 100% of what they say. And believe 50% of the actions. Though I was working on myself of course but maybe not as much as I should.
