I can't do this alone

[mishka422]

All valid fears Dagny. It's important to focus on the reality of the situation when the fear arises. For instance:

1)Financials
Fear - We are going to be homeless without H's contribution!!
Reality - You will have to cut back on everything (housing cost, groceries, meals out, trips, etc.) but you will economize yourself into a reasonable budget.

2)Bitterness
Ok, I'll admidt that is a toughy. I struggle with bitterness and cynicism but the bouts of it are getting shorter and shorter. When you start to feel bitter, focus on something or someone that you are most happy with. If the time with your kids is the happiest then focus on them until the feeling passes. If you need to escape into a good book to get through it, then do that.

3)Loneliness
Fare - I'll be alone and sad forever!
Reality - Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Embrace alone time for what it is - OPPORTUNITY! Time to yourself to find the new you, the inner you that has been stuffed down for too long. Loneliness is combatted by getting yourself out into the world and involved in an activity, a hobby, a sport, anything that will get you surrounded by people with an interest in the same thing.

4)Raising children on your own
Fear - These kids are going to run roughshod over me now that it's just me!!!!
Reality - They may, for a short time. It's up to you to lay down the law and then make your family a GROUP EFFORT. Your kids are all old enough to be told the real deal and to be productive, contributing members to their own family and their upbringing. It's not ALL on your shoulders. You have friends, family, kid's friends parents, etc.. Everyone will pitch in. That whole "It takes a village" was not just talk.

I hope some of that helps you to start wrapping your mind around those fears. They are some of the techniques I learned from my IC. She was wonderful. I wish she hadn't retired or I'd still be seeing her, especially now that everything has gotten so overwhelming again.

Hope you have a great day!!!