Would you say you were changed for the better? I ask because my W, who was extremely addicted to her affair and OM, also says it changed her, for the better, and because of that, she can't think of it as a bad thing. It's probably the one giant barrier we have to reconciliation. I can't return to her with her clinging to the belief that her affair was a good thing.
No, my addiction did NOT change me for the better. It ruined my marriage and turned my world upside down. Being busted by my husband did change me for the better, because it's snapped me back into reality. Maybe I'm a rare case. Sorry about your wife FU (lol, that's kinda funny). I hope some day she turns around.
