I dunno, CL, your wife seems to me, at least, to be fairly predictable. Do you think it might be reasonable to look at some of the above situations that you struggled with, and have better predicted how she would behave ahead of time?
We learned this in a parenting class once, about how to deal with our kids. The instructor was saying that "If you think about it, I bet most of your kids -- especially the 'problem child' -- behaves in a way that is VERY predictable. You as husband and wife should have a plan ahead of time, that says 'What is (child) likely to do if we do (ex.: assign a chore, enforce a punishment, etc.)?' Have a plan ahead of time of HOW YOU ARE GOING TO RESPOND TO THAT." He suggested that when you and your spouse have your "date nite," that you spend some time planning maybe over a glass of wine of how you're going to deal with the problem child.
Well, I've learned that I can do the same thing in my marriage. My wife (and she says the same thing about me -- in SPADES!) is VERY predictable as to how she is going to behave under stress and in certain situations. I, like you, like to use e-mail, and the written words, b/c I can't always "think on my feet" fast enough and say what I want to say. But if I THINK ABOUT IT AHEAD OF TIME, and PLAN OUT WHAT I WANT TO SAY, AND EVEN MY BODY LANGUAGE AND TONE OF VOICE that I want to use . . .it's very effective.
