But it's a question of DEGREE. She seems to respond to you when you take a SLIGHTLY firmer stance, and stand up for yourself.
Balance of love and boundaries ... YES. But in what MIXTURE -- that is the question.
Starsky
I like how you're articulated this problem and framework for solutions. It makes sense to me. I agree that love and boundaries are not mutually exclusive. The difficulty as you suggest is making a decision as to the ratio of allowing versus boundry-setting. I would also add that the question is not only deciding on the mixture but the form the boundaries should take.
I think one of the resons I put so much emphasis on love , is because in the past I would react out of self-centeredness, and be passive-aprressive or withdraw, and then carry around resentment. I've learned that anything I say or do has to come from compasssion, otherwise we'll just go in circles.
The situations I have the most difficult time with are the unpredicatable ones, where I don't have time to think, and get caught up in my own embarrassment or other emotions. I think I'm better at setting boundaries with her in private versus social settings. Maybe that's where I need to do some planning.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
