The book you mentioned and the "6 inches" reference is so ironic to me, or any HD wife with a ND or LD Husband. I would LOVE to do that, and yet that is just not my case. Hopefully it help yours.
That is why Michele Book rocks, because is the only one I know that deal with the reverse situation. Even though I still agree that the emotional connection in a woman is VERY important. Unfortunately in my case I need both, the Physical and the Emotional and I am not getting anything on one and very little on the other.
I know it must be frustrating to read those books that so clearly point out the importance of sex and to be desired, not just put up with, so is not just you saying it, but experts. How sad that with all that backup we still get spouses that will just say "so?". Michele's book says something like "you can be right and uterly miserable"
I posted somewhere else here that if you are like most HD spouses, you have already explain yourself to death, talk until you are blue in the face, bought books to back you up, the works; and still the spouse does not seem to understand. My point is not to get discourage or angrier after all that "irrefutable information" that you presented did squat to help your situation.Believe me, I am writting advice that I have trouble following myself. Sometimes people hear what the want to hear. Sometimes you have to back up a bit, which is my next step.
I am changing my tune. I am out to be aloof, if I can manage it. no impolite or mean or anything like that, but a change of attitute. I started yesterday . An example, yesterday, I stayed late at work, which I only do when I have a project and my H knows ahead of time about it, but never just a message on the answering machine on the same day. When I got home, my H was all over me (I was soooo surprised)then he asked me to make him coffee, since he was working on a project in our home office, instead of saying yes, I said no, politely, no anger, just no. I got all sorts of "bribes" so i would do it, things that I like him to do to me , like kisses in the neck and a little good old fashion butt grabbing. After a while of us giggling about it, I did make his coffee, I thought this is what positive reinforcement do. Hopefully I will get more attention by being less available to him.
The reason why gave you this example is that I am learning that in my H case, and maybe in your W too, they may be "situation learners" instead of learning by reading or listening to you, maybe they have to fill it, or at least to feel what will happend when their spouse is ready to start taking the love away too.
I hope this keeps on working, because I am liking the results already.
