Quote: Tonight was better, because by the time he got home, I had calmed down a lot and was able to sit and talk with him without the hurt emotions from last night. I just told him calmy that I cannot and will not live like this for my entire life and that it has to change. He agreed that we need to go to a different counselor, a sex therapist. . .
and he let me read some of the book to him!!!!! He wasn't as excited about it as I was, but I could tell that certain parts of the book reached him. I could also tell that he was relieved it wasn't another book, bashing him for being LD. I feel a lot better now, but I also know from our history, that the cycle will repeat.
That sounds very positive. Now look at ways to avoid the cycle repeating.
1 do not let your H off the hook with regards to what he has agreed. Book that counsellor and get him to go with you. You have to make it plain that your M depends on him holding to his word.
2 do not have constant R talks. Let the time you have together be enjoyable and fun.
3 think about how things normally go. If you behave differently it will break the normal cycle.
Quote: Anyway, so that is where it is at. Believe me, I am frustrated, sad, horribly ashamed, embarassed, and just completely depressed that at seven months our marriage is in trouble. That is why I am here. I know we need help, and soon, because I don't know if I have it in me to feel this worthless and alone for the rest of my life.
You should not feel this way. We often hear people saying that you have to work at marriage. Yet some people seem to think that if you have to work at it there is something wrong with you and/or your partner. The fact is that you are striving to make a difficult relationship problem work out for you both. That is something to be proud of. You can do it!! In the end the lengths you have to go to will make you stronger and improve your relationship skills no end. If you can sort out this problem together your marriage will benefit in many other ways.
