WAW 20 years not sure where I am right now.

[Pensacolabroken]

NFTP,

what do you mean it isnt over? The Marriage or the Drama?

She was VERY nice this morning.. maybe by my agreeing with her she is thinking she is getting her desire.


How is going for you?


Time,

I am cautious and I am temporarily moving to ease the tension. She is going to have to deal with the decision now. I wont be the security blanket anymore. I also thought about your question about the boundry etc, and you are right, She can see whoever she wants, doesnt change anything.

I am tired of being the only one pretending that the marriage is gonna work. She has checked out. SO I have dropped the rope.

now I really could use the resolve of the rope dropping veterans to help me avoid the mines that are surely out there.

[Pensacolabroken]

Konfuseed ,

thanks. I will take your advice.

[gutwrenching]

what do you mean it isnt over? The Marriage or the Drama?

Both. I think NFTP is spot on. The don't call this a roller coaster for nothing. The best way to get off the roller coaster is to TRULY detach and that is very difficult. Right now I sense anger and frustration which is understandable but it is indifference that gets one off the roller coaster.

Don't forget to work on yourself. Either for a future in this M or for your future with someone else.

Stay strong, you can do this. Keep an eye on your emotions and try not to be impulsive...I suspect that is difficult for you

[Pensacolabroken]

Gut,

yea I am a confront the threat and eliminate it kinda of guy. I am learning to think before acting and not listen the emotion of the moment. Difficult. I am feeling a lot right now but is it odd that with all the emotions I also feel some relief?

strange.

[TimeHeals]

but is it odd that with all the emotions I also feel some relief?

It's normal to feel relief at first especially when you have a little time to yourself away from the drama.

Because... let's be honest. Having an affair is disrespectful and abusive of your spouse (abusing their trust, disregard for their feelings and so on). It's all very invalidating and abusive all at the same time, and the first thing that hits you when you stop reacting and start acting... is the calmness after the drama.

[gutwrenching]

first thing that hits you when you stop reacting and start acting... is the calmness after the drama.

I still remember the absolute sense of relief I felt driving away and driving for a couple of hours with my kids after telling my W this is the beginning of our new lives...hope yours will be all you dreamed of. I don't think I'll ever forget that. It's natural. Embrace it...feel good for a change.

[NotFromThesePart]

NFTP,

what do you mean it isnt over? The Marriage or the Drama?

Both! But hopefully you get some peace until deployment.

She was VERY nice this morning.. maybe by my agreeing with her she is thinking she is getting her desire.

How is going for you?

Yeah I got the same thing. I'm predicting 6 weeks of peace for me before the drama kicks in again. Just a guess.

I'm doing well. Actually really well all things considdered. After the decision I've able to concentrate a lot more. I'm getting resumes sent out, and my move, which I thought I was going to have to pay for myself, is now being paid for.

Just put a downpayment on a car too. I was going to buy a cheaper one but my sister said I needed a good "bachelor" car. I'll take her advice!

[Pensacolabroken]

yea, I hear you on all of it.

I am waking up to the fact that my WAW is probably still involved with the OM. My instincts are telling me that is why she wont come back to the marriage despite all the BS she told me as the reason.

I think I only forced them undercover with it.

He can have her. I am tired of the lies and I am moving on.

[Pensacolabroken]

Time,

thanks.

now for my resolve...

[Pensacolabroken]

What is the best way to approach the rope drop.?. I mean communication wise. I am still involved with my Son but I am planning on just going dark as I can for the next week or so.