Hello newlywed. I don't post much here anymore but you post struck a chord with me. It sounds like your h has been the medical route to address his testosterone levels and depression. Been there done that in my sitch too. I have to wonder if your h has some sexual abuse/molestation issues?
I'm throwing that out because my h was molested when he was a a teenager and our swxual relationship started out pretty good, especially while we were dating. After we married it became less frequent and for the past 2 yrs non existant. (We have been married for 7 yrs).
Even though my h believed that he had dealt with his molestation issues, recent counseling has brought this issue up again and they are issues still for him. I offer this as just an observation on my part and if your h is resisting counselling, I'd bet there IS a deeper reason that perhaps he is ashamed of facing.
An affair is not the answer newlywed, and would create way more problems than answers to meet your sexual needs, IMHO. Is counselling an option for you? It has been for me and it is a support too.
Quote: And as much as I talk, my husband just retreats.
How about not talking about it and focusing on other parts of your relationship that you both enjoy? It does NOT get your h "off the hook" for his responsibility with the problem but it might give him the space to be accepted for who he is deep down inside. My h wasn't able to talk about our lack of sexual relations until I backed right off, took the pressure off for him to perform, and gave him some space to sort out his stuff. We are still in process in dealing with this aspect of our marriage and it will take time. Just my $.02 worth.
