One of the things dancing does, is create an opportunity for my W and I to reconnect. In the past I probably would have kept a distance from her. On the way to the dance venue last night my W mentioned that she is intimidated by the weeknight dance venue. She is uncomfortable not having a network yet. Could she be handling it better? Of course.
I think a balance between love and boundaries is needed. What is the best response I could have had when she walked off the floor? I'm open to suggestions. I chose to take off my shoes, and end the evening, since we had been there for some time.
I think the plan for next time will be to continue to give her most of my dances, keep the evening short, and encourage her to break the ice and ask guys to dance. I also expect her to not yet be comfortable there, so not to take poor behavior personally. One can call it "walking on eggshells" but I think I need to give her latitude and be supportive. If I give her grief over her behavior, she may not take it well and stop going.
CL
CL, I don't disagree with any of that. But it's a question of DEGREE. I think the balance you speak of should be "50/50," and I see you doing basically "90/10," and I think -- over time -- your wife loses respect (and therefore love) for you when you do that. She seems to respond to you when you take a SLIGHTLY firmer stance, and stand up for yourself.
Now, this "50/50" doesn't mean it should be manifested 50/50 in every situation -- that's an average. Some situations call for 90/10 or 10/90, depending on the situation. For example, if your wife's parent passed away, you would be right to give her near-total latitude in her behavior for a period of time.
Personally, I think when she walked off the floor that you should have continued dancing, and not responded to her rude behavior. It shows you VALUE yourself, and that you are enforcing your boundaries.
Balance of love and boundaries ... YES. But in what MIXTURE -- that is the question.
