Is it still going on ?

[gutwrenching]

It is unfortunately obvious that an A of some sort is still going on. His attention and emotional energy are going to someone else. I am sorry, I know it hurts. However, you are not along. This is very common. And to be honest, at this point I bet he goes even deeper undercover with the A and he might even get better at this body language and how he acts around you to throw you off. That is what my experience relays.

As far as what to do, that is always the tough question.

You need to stop asking him to try. First of all, try is a bad word. Trust me, I heard that word and to a lot of people there is a hug difference between trying and working.

You need to figure out what you need to fix about yourself. Look honestly at yourself and what are your issues. That is what you can control, that is where you can grow, and that has a much better chance of getting your H's attention in the long run.

Also, stand up for yourself. Do not facilitate the A. You will not live in an open M. You will not help support someone who is.