Please help ASAP

[gutwrenching]

OK - I am in a better frame of mind today, thinking more clearly. I have no experience with this as the OM in my scenario has always lived long ways away...but I feel for you and don't envy your situation.

Think the best approach is to act as if, as if nothing is abnormal or wrong. If you go on the attack or the offensive, there is a chance it will draw them closer together, a chance it will validate all the awful things in the WAH's mind, and it will be what they both expect. What they don't expect is you to be stong, indifferent and act "as if." Use the technique from MWD on acting as if to the OW also.

So if you have to make small talk, make sure you are happy and upbeat without going over the top and without touching a subject that tells them anything about what is going on in your life: Isn't this a lovely time of year, I like the weather like this. All the new and interesting things to do, sure tests my self disciplin to buckle down and focus on my studying.

Then if at all possible turn and walk away with a smile on your face.

Telling the OW that she is the POS snake in the grass that we all know she is won't do any good (although I'm sure it will make you feel better!).

The best way to tell them they are not worth your time is through your actions. Marginalize their importance. Easier said than done.

Feel free to fire other thoughts/questions out here...
I am struggling with something similar so maybe we can help each other by talking through it. I was so tempted yesterday to email the OM to let him have it and tell him to leave my W and family alone. He seems to be developing a pattern of emailing about every 4 or so weeks...and that isn't doing us any good...and I know that snake in the grass knows it

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