JS, you've gotten some great advice. I just have a couple of observations. You need to proceed very carefully with the DV charges. Let your L know about the interaction with your W the other night and her talk with the advocacy group. Do not under any circumstances talk to her about it! This is very important. She might be trying to get you to say things on purpose to incriminate yourself. On the surface it already looks pretty bad for you...altercation, cops, you into martial arts, presumption of male guilt in most areas. Be careful.
With regards to the "snooping", if that's why you're doing it, then, yes, you need to stop doing it. However, there is a difference between gathering information and snooping. Gathering information is tactical and used for advantage. If there is new information to be gained, it could be necessary. Just be clear on why your doing it. I gained a lot by tactically gathering information from time to time.
