do the trick or treating thing, kids are still small, do it for them, good on you for calling her on the crap behavior, she does know what you do, it's not like your carrying the gun for $hits and giggles, it does have a real purpose, she knows that, she's just trying to push your buttons (you should know that), she can only push them if you let her push them.
Take the lead, speak to the daycare, tell them that you heard there was a possible issue so you wanted to clear it up, let them know what you do, that it is legal for you to carry it, it is safe and your job is to keep people safe, not to put them in harm's way. You also trust the daycare to have your children's safety as one of their forefront concerns and they should never feel like they can't ask you questions like this because it's important that they feel comfortable with you as a client just like you feel comfortable with them watching your children.
It's ok for people to ask questions, it's ok for you to answer them.
You know you're wife is trying to get a rise out of you, guess what, she still knows what works ;-)
Thanks Rob. damn you type quick, I planned on calling the daycare owner tomorrow and laying it out. She could have done it and not dragged me in, but another way for her to try and get a rise out of me.
The best response is no response. She just wanted to push your buttons. You didn't let her on the gun/badge thing so she moved to the area where she could get to you...the kids. It worked like a charm for her. Now, she's saying how worried she is about you. She gets to make herself feel better about her situation. Don't let her do that to you. It's late. Don't respond.
By the way, your Halloween suggestion is totally reasonable. No need to trick or treat together. That could get really uncomfortable for everyone.
Didn't see Robx's post you before I submitted mine. I still think separate trick or treating is ok. You don't want to get trapped into any talking while your walking.
Thanks blue, I dont think its unreasonable either, I will push for time with me prior to trick or treating, I will ask the kids, not the W if they want me to go with them. W is not going to drive the bus anymore.
guys, guys, guys, the parents must act mature for the kids for one night, they are small children, the enjoy having their parents with them for trick or treating, how long could they be out for? a couple of hours? I'm sure that dsh can handle being in his wife's presence for that amount of time and considering they're out with the kids, I'm pretty sure they'll be focused on their kid's halloween experience: taking pics, video, encouraging them, checking what kind of candy they rec'd, etc.
Part of db'ing is being an adult about situations, we don't need to segregate occasions like halloween when the kids are so small.
And for general consideration...something I have learned in last few weeks. When W and I did these kinds of family things for the kids...it drove OM bonkers...let him to being pressuring and immature and certainly didn't help the EA that was going on. So an unintended consequence (in a positive way) when W and I did stuff together for the sake of the kids...
Go trick or treating. Make sure your kids love it!
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Robx, he can really only count on himself to "act mature" in this situation. His W has shown a certain unpredictibility. I would hate to see him drawn into a situation where things go south in front of his kids. Her recent talk about his gun makes me nervous for him. I had little kids when my sitch blew up. I would never have put myself in that position.
For the record, my H and I have traditionally split the Halloween duties just as DSH described. I took the kids to church and he took them around the neighborhood. Most of the parents on our block only send one adult out with the kids. As long as he has time to fuss over the costumes and have fun with them, I see no need to force a "family time".
I will go trick or treating with the W and kids, if she starts in on anything i will put my foot down and say "this is not the time or place". I can handle being around the W for a couple hours, in one of her texts she says " i know you despise me and dont want to be around me, but its important for us to get along for the kids, can you try?"
The thing is that I dont despise her, I just am not going to be her BFF like I have told her before. We do not need to be buddies, I told her we can be civil and that is it. She still says she is not worried about any of the D stuff, but that she is worried about me, I do not respond to that. I was going to say to her there is no reason to worry about me, we are getting divorced and I have survived on this planet for 30 of my 38 years without you, I can handle myself. She probably thinks I am doing steroids and going out all the time drinking with friends.
She also made acomment about how I tried to lie to her the other day. I of course said what did I lie about this time? she wouldnt say. so I then say we arent even together anymore and you are accusing me of lying? what purpose would that serve? she doesnt respond. Does she truly not grasp what this Divorce means? or does she just want everything her way and I am supposed to just say ok? I think I made TH mad, he doesnt write on my thread anymore.
called to talk to the kids tonight, wasnt easy, S didnt want to get on the phone with me. W gets on says let me talk to the kids and have them call back, I said ok. It would be nice if she actually realized that this is her doing, but it wont sink in. This was almost an hour and a half ago, still they have not called back.
