You've been at this too long for very little or no results. ...
If she wants to label what she's doing as MLC, depression, finding herself, whatever, who cares? You can't control her, what she does or says and seriously, you wouldn't want that responsibility of controlling her either, too much trouble and hassle for no reward.
Umm... okay... I totally agree with you on the 'you can only control your own actions' aspect Rob. But this? They've been married for 11 years, and Pin's been making changes since, what, July? Not even 4 months ago!! So trying for 4 months to fix potentially 11 years of distance is "too long for no results"? Good grief, can we give his wife a chance here before we toss her aside and say "who cares" about her?
Pinhead has gone through quite a bit with his cancer treatment, he could have asked the same question to his wife but apparently it didn't matter to her. Communicating to her that it's ok for her to act like this while he places a lot of value in her will in fact push her away - that's just how it works.
When dealing with people that attribute very little value to people that they are entrusted to care for and love, tough love is the way to go, letting them go, moving on with your life and realizing how valuable you really are and that you should let go of a spouse that doesn't value you or the relationship they have with you.
