You've been at this too long for very little or no results. ...
If she wants to label what she's doing as MLC, depression, finding herself, whatever, who cares? You can't control her, what she does or says and seriously, you wouldn't want that responsibility of controlling her either, too much trouble and hassle for no reward.
Umm... okay... I totally agree with you on the 'you can only control your own actions' aspect Rob. But this? They've been married for 11 years, and Pin's been making changes since, what, July? Not even 4 months ago!! So trying for 4 months to fix potentially 11 years of distance is "too long for no results"? Good grief, can we give his wife a chance here before we toss her aside and say "who cares" about her?
Jumping through hoops and "changing" to please his wife will never work.
It's a hard concept to understand.
Plus, saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you" usually means that "I care for you but I'm not excited about you anymore especially since I've had my eye on someone else although you don't know about them yet"
Changing to get a spouse back doesn't work. It's transparent. Why are you changing now? Is it really to improve yourself or is it to possibly get your spouse back?
It doesn't work.
Read every thread on this forum, how many spouses: men or women, have tried to change everything they could and met up with similar results, the WAS's don't respond to change by a LBS when the WAS has decided they want out of the relationship.
Why should they respond to change now?
It's too late.
It's insulting to the WAS.
If a LBS can change, why didn't they change when they had the chance, when the relationship was still intact?
In fact, if anything, changing in hopes of getting your spouse to come back again insults the WAS, it makes them angrier, resulting in a stronger attitude to move on further away.
You may not like reading this or understanding it, but it is reality, you can't fight reality, reality is... reality, it is what it is.
Accept reality, disregard fantasy, do what works, stop doing what doesn't work.
