cheated on, lied to, and now I am moving on

[newmama]

Awest, our kids at school were cranky this week as well-- including S! And he is not a grump normally! Weird.

Good job being insistent with the GM people. They are messing with the wrong woman--you are way too strong to put up with anymore crap from anyone, right?!

About your principal--you certainly do a lot for the students. Giving them a notecard, giving them a review (in a fun way) that practically mimics the questions on the test...that is plenty.
I am at the point as a teacher where I will question my boss on things--question the system! We are not first year naive teachers anymore- we are smart, experienced, still learning (everyone should still be open to learning) and we have extremely demanding jobs. SO when a principal, who can sit back and just field parent complaints but hasn't been in the classroom for years, starts to make unreasonable requests that becomes "micromanaging" our jobs, we need to call him or her on it.

If you weren't providing all of the help to your students, then sure, it might be fair to let them retake. (I had a teacher who would say read these chapters. Be ready for the test. ANd then there would be questions on the test that were barely discussed in class....no, that is not good teaching. Maybe those bad teachers should let the kids retake. BUt you are a good teacher, AWEST!)

[Lucky11too]

Wow! That is super frustating about your car. You have to be insistent with GM b/c that is just too dangerous. If they say the part won't be in until november, then you should fight for them to provide you a loaner car or pay for a rental car, since it is a known hazard that they are not fixing in a timely manner.

S and all the kids have been crazy over here as well, but for us, I think it's been all the rain and being stuck inside. S has been enjoying using his new Cars umbrella though. =P

I'm not surprised that H is flaking out on the paperwork, but I am surprised that the L is. You would think that L's get a lot of their business by referrals, so you would think all these bad ones would get weeded out. Well, I would definitely make sure that she doesn't charge you for these follow up calls that you are having to do to make sure that SHE is doing her job. But in good news, at least H is seeminly being cooperative about it all.

How are you and S feeling? I know you were both fighting little bugs. There sure is a lot going around this year already!!!

[awest1217]

Thanks Donna - S started to let me just drop the eye drops in the corner of his eyes (how I do it for myself anyway) and no more fighting. I am so glad! and he is so proud of himself.

NM- GM has picked the wrong lady to deal with. It is one thing if this just started to happen, but I have been calling GM since the beginning of September so it isn't like this is a one time thing. Plus November is one week away...you can't tell me they can't get a part and pay for it one week early, when this is a safety hazard. I never know when it is going to stall, and there isn't any signals or causes that I can pin point so me saying what happens if I get into a wreck really helped me.

Lucky - With GM, they don't even want to pay for my car to be fixed early, I doubt they will get me a loaner car. I have figured out for TN that I am going to use my parents other car that they don't take so S and I can be safe, but otherwise that is it. I should hear from the dealer or GM today.

With the L, I am a little perturbed because she should be doing these things, and I told her to go after him if she didn't get the stuff in a week. She said "I wasn't sure if you still wanted that". Yes, he doesn't want to get back together so yeah I want this done with. HOpefully she got the paperwork and will call this week to get the property settlement done.

In other news, the harvest party went well. I didn't have to do anything major for it, but it was good for that to be done. I have had a headache on and off for a week now. It starts at the nape of my neck and works it way up, or it starts at my sinuses. Either way it hurts really bad. I take stuff for it, but it doesn't help much. I think it is mostly stress...and mostly from GM so hopefully that will be done soon.

H dropped off S and for once didn't stay for more than 5 minutes either night last weekend. It was nice. S woke up Saturday with pink eye and I told H. I wanted H to take him to the doctor or med point, but that didn't happen, but he did offer to stay home today with him if needed. I said it wouldn't be since he already was responding to the old eye drops. Otherwise I haven't heard from him lately at all. Kind of nice, but at the same time I do get a little upset because he only checks in about S once a week if that. I still don't understand how he can go days without knowing exactly what S does each day and how he is doing. S is still changing so much. His little personality is growing more and more and H is still missing out. It is sad, but oh well.

This week is a three day week! YEAH! Tonight I am going to go get stuff for S's class although he won't be there for halloween party and getting a gift for my future nephew for christmas (other good thing this weekend, I got two Christmas presents for S and one for my nephew and candy for all my classes on Wednesday and SAVED $30...Go me). Tomorrow packing. Wednesday putting everythign in the car. Thursday cleaning the house and driving. Friday fun at the Nashville zoo. Saturday the shower and who knows what else. Sunday come home. FUN! FUN! FUN! FINALLY...I haven't had this for over a year.

[awest1217]

S's pink eye is back so I have to call the doctor and take him in, very frustrating to me because H should have taken him on Saturday, but NOOOO the old drops would be good enough. ARGH! Now it isn't all H's fault because I could have forced the issue and also the strain going around S's daycare is a monster. One girl was all clear and then got it back in two days so it is crazy stuff.

I still haven't packed or anything for the trip so it will be a busy night and day tomorrow, but then it will be fun.

[Lucky11too]

Oh, poor S! Hopefully, you can get this resolved fast so you can enjoy your trip! You totally deserve this time away for some fun! It's also great timing for S, so that he can get away from daycare for awhile with that awful pink eye strain going around.

That is so cute that S is going to be Luigi for Halloween. Will he have other opportunities to wear his costume since you guys will be driving Halloween night? My S is going to be a little sailor boy. hehe.

Good luck packing and getting ready! Have a fun and safe trip! =)

[awest1217]

GM finally called back. I won't get my car fixed until November sometime and it stalled again today. From what I understand, they don't have a fix yet. The part they would put in my car if I pay is the old part and not the new improved one because the new improved one is not made yet....whatever...I just want my car fixed.

I got S's eye drops without having to go to the doctor so that is good. Now just to apply them all the time and hopefully this will be done.

Went and decorated the Sunday school for the new quarter tonight then relaxed the rest of the night. Tomorrow morning cleaning the house, doing a small amount of laundry and packing. We leave tomorrow night for 3 days in TN.

[mishka422]

Have a wonderful time!

[awest1217]

It was nice trip, but now I am exhausted...

To start off, on Thursday right before S and I left, I got the mail with a letter from the L. It was a copy of the letter sent to H because he STILL has not gotten the information to the L. I am starting to really get mad about it. If he doesn't want to D, then he needs to tell me, otherwise just get it over with. We are NOT going to live married, but he get to go wherever he wants with OW and live separately. Her H may be ok with it, but I'm not.

In TN, everything was fun. S did a good job in the car. The only problem is that S still got up early so I had to get up. I stayed up late and still got up early, plus I didn't sleep well. I had a lot of dreams about H. Mostly because this is the first time that I have gone to TN without H. H has always come with me so it was very emotional. On the way home, I cried for 2 hours driving because I just feel alone. Everyone in my family has a significant other, and I am alone. I was the last of the older four to get married and now I am alone again. It just sucks!

The pastor at my brother's church in TN, and my SIL's grandpa, said some encouraging things to me, but it is still really hard. I was hoping the D would be over, not that I would be dating right away, but at least there would be some finality. Hard stuff.

Overall really it was a fun trip, but I am glad to be home and I will be going to be early tonight.

[mishka422]

So sorry you were feeling so alone sweetie. I understand the frustration and loneliness. It's hard, but you will pick your way through those emotions to the other side.

Your H is a real piece of work. He wants a D but then just goes about galavanting with his A partner in front of the whole world while still M'd to you and does nothing to further the D. Yep, exactly what my xh did. I finally had to be the one to push the D through. I didn't bother calling my L, I walked into her office, told her paralegal to pull out all of my D paperwork and get it filed pushed through. I called xh, told him to be at my L's office at 11am on such and such day to sign the papers. Told him if he chose not to do that then I would take it straight to the court and he would be in a lot deeper financial trouble than what I was asking for. He showed, still didn't want to sign it, my L told him that she would be more than happy to go to court on this and get his A partner on the stand in open court to answer for her actions in the destruction of a family (lots of back story to that one and in GA adultery is used in deciding custody and financial settements). He caved and signed.

Had to play major hardball to get him to sign the papers that he so desperately wanted! This is how WAS's operate in most cases. They want what they want but when it comes down to the practicalities of it they freak out. They tend to only see how 'wonderful' their new life will be without us, they don't consider that their actions have consequences.

You're a tough cookie. Get tougher. Storm into your L, demand action. You are paying for it. Your H has his own L? Then the two L's can get this done in no time at all. You have to be more pushy though.

Good luck.

[awest1217]

I knew going in to this that H would drag his feet because he told me flat out "I don't want to be your husband, but I want to still be a family". He really is a piece of work. Sadly in IN, it is a no fault state for divorce so there is nothing we can threaten H with.

I figured he would drag his feet on taking the parenting class which would hold up the D, not on getting info to the L, but this makes more sense because he doesn't want to owe me money, if that is the case. We can't move forward until the L has the number. She needs his current salary to figure the child support and also how much is in his 403b. I wouldn't worry about that too much, but we agreed when he got his job that he would withold extra for both of us because I paid the bills from my check. So his was the "savings" check where we put away for the future, and mine was the right now check. I wish I wouldn't have done that now, but it made sense then because I was expecting to be together for forever.

My L is now going after him for the numbers. I don't know what all that will entail, but about once a week I will call to find out if she has gotten them and the next step. It only cost me $14 to call two weeks ago.

And yes, H does take OW out. He doesn't flaunt her around, but she does stuff with his family and they go on vacations out of the state on every break. That really got to me because he didn't text once to find out how S was. H was insistant that I text him when I left and got to TN (no problem and nice to ask about how S was doing), but after that nothing. I am glad he wasn't bugging me, but with S's horrible pink eye, I would like to see him show more concern for S. Like a quick text on how are S's eyes? Also why was he insistant about the way there and not the way back? Probably off with the OW. Plus I sent him a text of S in his costume, and no thank you at all...

I just hate the inconsistancy. I am doing everythign I can to help S have a good R with H, but if H keeps not caring or checking in with S, then why should I ask S to call him or update H on my own. I am trying to do what is best, but it is just wearing me out.

HOpefully this month my car will get fixed and teh D can get done...