I just wanted some thoughts on my sitch. I recently asked the question "to expose or not" and got some helpful advice. But I am trying to figure out if it is really still going on and wanted advice from people with experience. I caught my husband to the best of my knowledge 3 months into the affair. At first he said he couldn't end the affair, but he changed his mind within the first hour and decided to work on it, but would make no guarruntees. He needed to see changes in our marriage. This was in June, and as we are both teachers we had the summer together. For most of the summer he did "kind of" try. He would try to talk with me more, gave me some hugs, and as far as I knew was not contacting her. I had access to cell, but no email passwords. He told me I could ask him to check email whenever I wanted, but it would cause tension between us when I did so I did not ask often. When I did, there was nothing except he had not deleted her from his address book. He still continued to listen to the cd's he made her. He was depressed, would not share details, and "majorly" gave trickle truth. Upon starting back at school, which is where OW worked, he got even more withdrawn. He said he was curious about her. He was bummed b/c supposedly she was in a new long distance relationship. He stopped answering his phone right away when I called. I caught him in a few minor lies as to where he had been, but as far as I knew no contact. Then one day I asked to check his school email. He did not want to show me and was shaking. Sure enough they were emailing each other. Nothing more than joking as far as I could see, but we had talked about no unecessary contact and this was it. I got very upset and asked him to leave. He did, and then I felt like I made the wrong decision. I asked him to continue to try to work on things, he said he didn't want to, but he finally decided to try agian. Then last week, after lying to me for two days, I found out he sent her b-day card. Now he says he is moving out, but it has nothing to do with her. It is our reltionship that is causing him to move out. Do I believe that? What should my next step be?
