putting my big girl panties on

[flowmom]

In ongoing procrastination news, I continue to struggle mightily. I am working a bit, but not enough.

But, I am trying something new. I am taking doing six sessions of Brief Solution Focused Therapy for procrastination using a Life Coaching/Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach. That is what the counselor recommended based on my goals. I've done two of the sessions and it feels like we're just getting started. I am cautiously optimistic but I feel unsure about whether the counselor can really help me. Of course, it's about me helping myself. It is costing $125/hr which I don't have coverage for . I will write it off as a business expense so that will help a bit.

My financial situation is getting VERY ugly. Getting into more and more credit card debt as my spending outpaces my earning. STBXH is giving me some support, but not enough to maintain former standard of living. I have to earn a LOT more, or become far more frugal, or both. I am struggling with denial and a sense of entitlement regarding spending.

The therapy I'm doing is all about money: earning, dealing with financial planning/budgeting, dealing with financial separation, etc. It's about facing reality and taking ACTION. Stockdale all over again. Counselor says that a lot of my struggle is related to self-criticism.

Trying to be an adult is truly humbling