Finding My Way

[Mystik]

Took a nap after my last post, had a dream where my legs wouldn't work and I couldn't get my eyes to open, it was like they were glued shut from exhaustion.

Texted H right before I left to pick up DS telling him to bring back the clothes DS left there last weekend. He texted back to meet at the regular spot at 5:30, we were supposed to meet at 5. I was only a few blocks from home so I turned around, waited a half hour then left again. When I was almost to the exchange spot H called, I ignored it. Then he texted to meet at Dunkin Donuts instead. I waited until exactly 5:30 then headed over to Dunkin Donuts. I still had to wait another five minutes after I got there before H showed up with DS, this time he had the courtesy to be by himself. DS wanted to get a donut and I told him I didn't have a dollar so H said he had planned on using his debit card and I could follow him through the drive-through or we could go in. I said if he wanted to take DS in that was fine, so he did. They came back out and DS offered me a munchkin, I tried to decline but he insisted so I took it and set it on the passenger seat. I heard H murmur to DS that I was sad and to give me a few minutes. He then said good-bye to DS and thanked him again for the birthday presents and left.

I drove home, crying on and off on the drive. DS asked why I was sad and I told him because H left us. So he told me to go home and relax. So here I am, home and trying to relax.

[Abbey]

Mystik... what would happen (do you think)... if you began to be really co-operative with H about your son? (pick up times, being really easy about if he wants to sleep over - not get into what he said before etc).

[Mystik]

Until this weekend I have been very cooperative about DS. This is the first time that H wanted extra time with DS and I didn't let him have it. Every other time he's asked for DS to stay longer or sleep over an extra night, I let him.

[bluestar]

I think she's been too cooperative. She's caving every time he calls/texts and wants to make a change. In this case, the "different" thing to do, would be to set some boundries and enforce them. I think it would also be the healthy thing to do. Mystik could get more uninterrupted time with her DS and her H would have to face the reality of the situation he's created. As it is, he doesn't have to because she lets him do whatever.

[Mystik]

H was 26 minutes late dropping off DS tonight. He made sure to open the back driver side door so I could see the infant car seat that is newly installed. It was a punch in the gut seeing it there. This nightmare is becoming more and more real and it's killing me. I think it would be less painful if H had used a butter knife to cut my chest open and remove my heart one chamber at a time without anesthesia. It also didn't help that I realized It is going to be my stepson, seeing as H and I are still married. Can someone just kill me now so this pain will stop?

[Mystik]

And, H didn't do any of DS's homework. So now I'm trying to get DS to do it and of course he's not interested, he needs to wind down and readjust to being home first. H said on Wednesdays they only have time for swim lessons and to eat.

[Mystik]

Going to have to see H today. DS wasn't feeling well so he stayed home with me instead of going to school. Going to try and keep it as impersonal as possible, just hand over DS and his overnight bag, let H know the antibiotics are in there and go back upstairs.

[Mystik]

Texting with H about DS's costume for this weekend. I can feel the tears building. I was fine all day until he texted me and now I'm an emotional mess again. Having to see him is not going to be easy.

[Mystik]

Was ok when I dropped DS off. H stayed in his car, I stayed in mine. Hugged DS, gave him his bags and watched to make sure he got in H's car and then I left.

[courageous wife]

(((mystik)))

That's about all I can think of right now...
Does your state offer help with writing up some kind of parenting plan? Sorry if you already covered this....