I would never put any of this on the kids. I just want to have a weekly skiing with my kids, and because of the lesson schedule, it can't happen. Sucks. Once they know how to ski, we can do it on one of my regular weeknights with them.
I'm free to do what I want, so I don't feel like I'm fighting reality. I just have to make a choice I don't like.
As for the meaning of "being in each others lives forever", that can be very minimal. Other than a few minutes per week during child transition, there's no reason for us to see each other.
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When your wife has them on her weekend, stay away, when you have them on your weekend, well hey, its your weekend, do as you will. If the kids hanging out with their friends is an issue in that it takes time away from you, enlist a friend to go skiing with you, this isn't an impossible situation, you can make it work. If the wife asks if she can join you guys on your weekend, don't feel bad about saying no. It's very easy to say "hey it's my weekend, I wouldn't mind some time away from us, we get enough shared time with regards to the kids, I would like to make these weekends that I have the kids, my personal time with them and I'd appreciate it if you respect that. I promise to do the same with your weekends. This is what I want - I hope you can understand that."
If she gets crazy and argumentative, you can just tell her "this is why I want my weekends to myself and the kids and don't want you there, I don't want any of ..... THIS."
We have NO time with us, so I certainly have no need to request less. If I ask her not to be there on my weeks, she'll respect my wishes without argument, or she'll happily accept my offer for us to do it together. I need to decide between skiing every other week with my kids, or skiing every week and including W. If I had any belief that it would help mend our relationship, I'd maybe feel differently, but she's clearly shown me how lopsided we are in terms of valuing fun family times.
