I asked her point blank if she wanted to divorce me. She was clear in her no. Then I said that I think separation is a bad idea, better suited for dissolving a marriage gradually than in trying to repair it. She said she felt like I was flip flopping, making her into a yoyo.
Don't ask her what she wants unless she brings it up first. She will win this everytime until you learn the game.
PH- Do you want a divorce?
MrsPH - NO
PH - Why do you feel that way?
MrsPH - _____ ---- -_____-- _______ _______
PH - I can see how you would feel that way? How can I help you _________________?
Take notes and work on the things her feelings told you and where she asked for help. Don't try to fix, listen, validate and then act with conviction - create connection.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
