(Weak smile). Yah. My H has mentioned similar things about me. It's NOT that you're not the 'sharpest knife in the drawer.' You're just fine. I think that a lot of us women do this because talking is how we process what we're thinking and feeling. Often I'm not sure of my own feelings and thoughts until I can talk them out with my H or a friend.
Quote:
It was the fact that she was really clear in what she was saying, and I could actually understand her....
I think that you could really use this fact in future discussions with her. When you feel yourself wanting to invalidate, rather than giving in to it, ASK her if she could clarify what she's saying. Let her know that you're not understanding her but that you really want to (which, incidentally is a very validating thing to say!) That might help get you both into a more compassionate place so that you CAN validate and keep the conversation moving forward.
PS - That brings me back to the point above - if you're the one who's asking her to clarify what she's saying, that will help her out to b/c it will help her sort out what she's thinking and feeling. It's very connecting for a woman, to feel that assistance coming from her H.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
That might help get you both into a more compassionate place so that you CAN validate and keep the conversation moving forward.
