Aver, Kara ((((())))), thanks so much for checking in. Aver you see I've posted on your thread more recently than I have on here! I think of you all the time. Time to move over to Surviving I think.
I'm slammed at work but needed to reach out to my DB peeps. Since the above update, after much prodding, finally H's L sent my H the signed agrmt. Actually I had to email H & tell him my L couldn't get in touch w his, & BTW her phone & email are ____. He never did reply to me. But in about a week my L emailed me to say she got the docs from his L.
Well that only took 3 months! My L was annoyed w H's L, saying she didn't return calls & her emails bounced back. Something's not kosher there. Any way L asked me to come in & sign the docs. Which I did. She told me the next step would be for her to have a judge put us on the docket, should be within 30 -45 days.
H & his L have to be there too, & my L wondered if she'd show up. If she doesn't? My L said could hold things up. She must be a real wingding!
About a week ago, H emailed me asking if my L had heard from his. And could we close our old joint email acct, as it was sending everyone in our address book viruses! (I had already deleted my contacts from it :-)
I replied yes, that I had gone in week before & signed the agrmt. OK to close email as long as none of bills were going to it. Also asked him (after checking w L) if he'd roll his portion of cr. card debt onto his cr. card & do the same. That way we can close that acct. up.
Interestingly, H emailed me Sunday. I read it Mon., & here it is: Hi,
I deleted the address book on here. That way I can keep it open, for a little while longer. I can roll the $xxxx I'll be paying on the (joint) card onto my credit card.
I have a question/favor to ask. Would it be possible for me to pay you the $8000 in equity through retirement money? So instead of giving you $22,000 out of my IRA I'd give you $30,000? I know we're closing the Cash account so we'll each have $7,500 in cash available to us but I've built up some credit card debt that I'd like to pay down with that money.
It's up to you and I know the separation agreement doesn't say anything about it. Let me know...
Thanks.
Not such a good deal for me, as I plan to use the $8K for a down pymt. on new house. Lucky for H - if we were doing this in 2009 (as he had wanted!) he'd owe me $15K to buy me out.
So I sent to my L (& my sister, who of course told me don't!) to confirm the penalties. I haven't replied to H, but I know my answer is no. And I did think about it, but I plan to use the $ from the buyout soon, & rolling it into IRA won't work.
Monday, I got the notice from Domestic Relations Court. I waited til I was at work to open it. Knew what it was. But I wanted to read some of my fav DB passages on here, I did have to gather a bit of courage. Even though I'm SO sick of it all, it's finally real.
Fri., Dec. 3. That's the date we'll appear before the judge, & dissolve the M.
I can then legally change my name back to my maiden name (I've already started adding it) as I see no reason to keep his. No kids, I haven't even been in contact w anyone from his family for well over a yr. It's sad, but it's one of those things I cannot force. Down the road, who knows. But right now I need to heal. I don't think re establishing contact with them would be helpful now & it's just not top of mind. Except I do miss my (his?) niece & nephew.
Anyway, after that L says I can stop paying 1/2 the mortgage & other bills.
I HAVE to get back to work - for some reason in the eves. I never get online these days. But thank you both. I think of you often, and sometimes I get on here & read, then don't have time to post b/c I'm so behind in giving my update I don't have time!
Puppies are fine, I call them my "angels" :-) b/c that is what they are. My brother's cool, I talked to him @ the delay & he's fine, but I may need to stay longer to save $$ for house if he's still OK with it. Haven't had that conversation yet.
Am GALing reasonably well, I try to set at least 1 outing a week (not too exciting I know). This wkend, dinner w my dear aunt & my sisters. She was very ill recently, which scared me. I love her dearly & she's my last surviving aunt. Happily she's much much better.
Other things I've done are dinner w friends/and or sisses; shop (good news/bad news :-() movies; been out a few times to see music. Once I went by myself but knew my brother would be there. Saw some folks I knew. Once I went to a networking event my grad school alumni assn. had. Dreaded it but actually met some nice people. Slowly, slowly, trying to get out there. Keep those whips cracked! :-)
Aver I'll check back soon on yours & Kara I'll find you on here. Miss you guys & ever grateful for your support! ((((Hugs)))) and wishing you loads of GAL & PMA! I'm trying too! ((((())))))
