Tell me about your principles, values, beliefs and morals about a married man moving out of HIS HOUSE.....
It's my wife's house too.
I see you did not answer my question. I think direct questions deserve direct answers. I would like an answer to my question.
Ah, I didn't know that I had to answer each and every question the way the interrogator chose to see fit...
This is a lesser of two evils decision, R2C.
You seem to be implying that my principles, values, beliefs and morals are in question because I'm moving out in a trial separation.
Let me flip this around so you can see my alternatives:
1. Stay in the house, go on as we have the previous four months and watch our marriage continue to burn to the ground. That's what I foresee.
2. Stay in the house, pushing my wife to move out if she wants her space. She won't. She'll fight the whole way, not wanting to leave what she views as her daughter's home. Never underestimate a mama bear.
Could I have pushed her out the first month (post-bomb)? Yep, that would have been ideal. But all the arguments I'm hearing now were opposed to that, she wouldn't see my GAL, etc. Now, the point is really moot.
I'm providing financially for my family (one of my values), I'm taking care of my daughters 50% of the time (another of my values).
She wants me to leave. Very clear about that. The real question is whether I should flip my decision and have her move out, or stick with it and move out myself.
Hi Pinhead, sorry to jump in with a relatively unrelated question but something caught my eye between your last thread and this one. Wanted to ask you about it in case reflecting on it might help you as you go forward.
You said: I called her up to talk about her email. Probably validated the best I have. She really was happier at the end of the 30 minute call.
So, in the spirit of the DB 'do what works' theory... what was going on for you when you called her and validated so well? You said that prior to this you hadn't been validating very well for about a month. So that's a shift.
What do you think enabled you to do that? Mindset? Did something else happen you haven't mentioned?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
It was the fact that she was really clear in what she was saying, and I could actually understand her. A lot of the times she doesn't communicate very clearly, or at least clearly enough for this DAM.
I also had time to think about what she was saying. I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and she can say a lot in a short time. So reading something comes much easier...
