I looked back a month or so to see what was changing when I stopped being an effective listener. It's around the time I told her I was moving out, I was done.
I think that I misunderstood her reaction, and changed my actions because of it. When she was saying "What do you want me to do?" She was really saying that she didn't know what else she could do.
And ML was the single biggest mistake because it was the ultimate in not listening to how she felt, what she wanted. The proof that I was still the selfish guy that she disliked.
I felt like I was more in control then, and probably didn't need to listen to what she was really trying to tell me; just hearing what I wanted to hear.
Hopefully this'll help anyone who abandons some important steps/actions during their DBing.
