One more small point for me....I just wish I knew if I was down 800 to 3 or if it's a close game....also wish I knew how much time was on the clock.
My W held her cards extremely close. For months and months she acted cheerful and supportive of whatever I wanted to do in my spare time. It wasn't until after I showed her that she still meant something to me that she opened up and showed me that she was thinking about what I was doing, and that she was jealous of others in my life.
Don't worry about her so much. Do what's right for YOU. Rebuild YOUR life. As I've found out, whatever the "score" is, or how much time is left is subject to dramatic change at any time. If she feels she's losing you, the score might change very fast, in your favor!
It's so easy to say "do it for you" and "don't worry about her", but the truth is that there are things that I DO need to change for me and I AM changing for me, but that doesn't change the fact that I really WANT my wife back, I deeply love my wife and my ultimate goal is for her to want to come back to me.
If I fail, so be it; but I will not and cannot just say I don't care about that. AND I WILL NOT GIVE UP.
M: 39 W: 37 Married: 9 D5; S3 "It's Over" 09/26/10 11 Day Sep 10/10 Piecing Starts 11/4/10 Piecing Fails 4/11 I move out 5/11 Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11 Piecing #2 - 6/22/11 Home 10/11
If I fail, so be it; but I will not and cannot just say I don't care about that. AND I WILL NOT GIVE UP.
Trust me, I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. That's fine for YOU to know, but it would help your "score" if she wasn't so sure about it, so keep those cards close to your chest.
future, how long did your whole sitch take to come around?
Mine hasn't yet resolved, and I'm going on two years now. I have learned what works and what doesn't though, and it has surprised me. The advice the vets give is dead on, and if I had been implemented it from day one my sitch would have resolved long ago, for better or worse.
Mine hasn't yet resolved, and I'm going on two years now. I have learned what works and what doesn't though, and it has surprised me. The advice the vets give is dead on, and if I had been implemented it from day one my sitch would have resolved long ago, for better or worse.
Oh, I won't let her know anything that I don't want her to know. Such a change from 60 days ago when I told "my best friend" every thought in my head. Now it's a Chess game.
M: 39 W: 37 Married: 9 D5; S3 "It's Over" 09/26/10 11 Day Sep 10/10 Piecing Starts 11/4/10 Piecing Fails 4/11 I move out 5/11 Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11 Piecing #2 - 6/22/11 Home 10/11
Oh, I won't let her know anything that I don't want her to know. Such a change from 60 days ago when I told "my best friend" every thought in my head. Now it's a Chess game.
Such irony here. After you win one game they turn the table and you have to play with different color.
The Chess game analogy can get exhausting, trust me.
Your W told you what she wants. Assume she's telling the truth. Live your life as though she is staying on that track until she CLEARLY indicates otherwise. That's the best chess move you can make.
