She's frustrated. She feels that I want and am pressuring her to feel one way regardless of her needs. She needs time, space and the freedom to understand what she wants.
She's torn because she feels one way, and thinks she should feel differently.
She thinks that time will help her make her choices easier.
Do you have EXPECTATIONS about this?
How much time do you "expect" it to take?
I am sure it will take longer than what you seem to think.
I started to type this:
Quote:
I don't know how long it will take. All I know is that it won't start until she doesn't feel the pressure from me. Removing the pressure may not start the process, or speed it up.
Then realized that I actually think that crisis and pressure encourage people to come to decisions, as opposed to wallowing in limbo. The story of the LBS is a testament to this.
As long as she doesn't have to make a decision, to clarify her thoughts, to reconcile the conflict between her feelings and her thinking, she won't.
I will move out. Do the activities that reward me, spend time with my daughters. Give her all the space she wants, only interact with her as needed to handle the logistics of co-parenting. Learn more about myself, maybe date casually or do social stuff to overcome some of my innate shyness and insecurity.
If she takes the opportunity to learn about herself, great. If not, over time we'll slowly lose the connection we've shared between us.
