Honestly I dont know that I could ever trust him again. It would take alot and I do mean alot of openess on his side.
1) You will be amazed at what YOU can do after healing. 2) To me, at some point it is less about TRUSTING HIM and MORE about TRUSTING YOURSELF. Trusting YOURSELF to make the right choices for YOU. 3) Openess/transparency and honesty are the building blocks to true healthy R’s. In time these things can happen BUT first Kissak, you must heal.
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He is a very lost soul right now.
Yes he IS and HE may be for a very long time. At this point his issues are HIS to deal with.
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I pray for him every day.
Good – just don’t forget to pray for YOURSELF and for others - count me in that mix 
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I still love him.
You probably always will. As hard as it is, separate the recent difficulties in your M from the good times and really give thanks for what was. The bad stuff…let it go the best way you can.
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I still will treat him with kindness because that is who I am and he deserves kindness.
We all deserve kindness. This does not mean be a doormat, it simply means that you show love to all. Love can be shown in many ways…one way is to let go.
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Some people find that hard to believe,
Fu*k what anyone else says….It is what YOU think that matters. What you feel in YOUR heart that matters. One of my fav sayings…..”opinions are like as*holes, everybodies got one”. The only opinion that matters is YOURS Kissak.
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but he is just human. We all make mistakes in this life. He is a good man and has a good heart and I can trust him with anything, other than at being faithful.
We are all human. All faulty human beings. No on is perfect and honestly, IMO, we should never strive to be perfect. Just whole and healthy people. Your H has made mistakes as have you. I pray that YOU will continue to come to these boards and post about YOU. About the realizations that YOU are having about YOURSELF.
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And that is what I need, want and deserve.
Yes you do. You deserve all the happiness in the world. We all do AND it is OUR responsibility to find this happiness.
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I just think I was afraid to let go.
We always are afraid to let go. I think it is our human nature. Now that you have let go, I hope you realized that YOU just faced ONE of YOUR fears. You faced it and you are still standing. Remember this the next time fear rears it’s ugly head. You can face them Kissak, You can face anything, insecurities, job concerns, finances…anything can be faced – at the end of the day, it usually is HOW you look at things. One early DB lesson, “change how you look at it”. In your case, is this the end or a NEW BEGINNING?
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Right now, honestly I feel so relieved, so much better...I cant explain it really.
IMO, you feel relieved BECAUSE YOU made a CHOICE. YOU Faced YOUR fear and deep down inside you feel proud of yourself. Yes you are grieving and you are hurt BUT you stood up and said enough. FWIW, I am proud of you Kissak. Now you have more steps to take. What are they?
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Maybe before I always thought it was me.
It funny how when you break the codependency habits and realize just how special you are, that things look different. Now, it’s really about YOU kissak. Now this is YOUR….
New Beginning – one that you write….
Remember – all of this, everything…
YOUR CHOICE!
Someone once said to me early on in this process that I decide when it is over. Do you understand now how all along, it was your decision.
It’s all YOU kissak – you got this girl!
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
