One being a (faux) "boundary" that is controlling and parental and the other being a "doormat."
I have boundaries in all of my relationships - marriage, parent, son, professional, coaching, and teaching. Doesn't make them parental.
It's not controlling to say to someone your behavior is causing problems and if it doesn't change it will effect our relationship. I am not trying to change them, it's their choice how they behave.
The added benefit as a man is that women really respect you and are attracted to men who know who they are. She wants to know what you think and believe not what you need. A woman doesn't want someone else who has needs she is supposed to take care of. Women are keenly aware of when they are behaving badly. They love a strong man who can call them out on it. Ask around and watch other relationships.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
