Looking for help with WAW - 2

[mza8]

Piano, I'm so sorry to hear about your sitch. I'm guessing maybe the reason your H didn't want to talk about it was because of the OW? Maybe that was his reason and he didn't want to admit it? Either way, yes, it is hard not to know the reasons...or to at least hear it straight from them.

I agree with you, I can live without my W but would prefer to be with her. It's funny about the kids thing with us. For most of the R I didn't want kids. W's sister has two young kids and they really grew on me. I wanted to have children of our own. W and I would have been great parents together. My W always wanted kids but the last year of M she said she wasn't so sure. Guess I should have been more observant on that one. Looking back I now see some signs that I missed. I remember us driving to the airport for the vacation we took just 5 weeks before she left. She got upset with herself because she left her wedding ring at home. She got really weird about it now that I think back on it. Sort of panicky and sad that she "claimed" she forgot it. Maybe she honestly did forget it and then again maybe not. That whole vacation thing is something I'll never quite understand anyway. How she wanted to go on vacation together so bad and then leaves 5 weeks later. Has me scratching my head on that one.

Yeah, maybe they are the ones broken. Maybe they are just acting on their feelings. Either way it's still difficult for us because they still have decided not to be with us. My W is classic avoidance of any problems. She's buried her head in the sand with so many other things I guess she figures she'll bury her head in the sand with the M and D too...take the easy way out, make no effort.

What's confusing to me about them being broken is how then can they carry on so easily with dating, acting as if nothing bothers them about the D, and they are so care free? Yes, I know the standard answer that they have detached, moved on, etc. However, I still don't get it completely. Maybe the answer is just that simple that they are broken and there's nothing to make sense of? I don't know. Maybe I'm searching for answers from my W to questions that really don't have any answers...or at least she can't give me any good logical answers, just her feelings/emotions. All I know is that if she would have given me some answers I might have been able to make sense of all of this and make the D process easier for both of us. I suppose I'll need to continue to work on my own closure even though my gut tells me this is a waste of a good M.