Still needing some encouragement

[kissak]

Thank you Eric. You are right. People can change and I can change my mind at any time. I would never say never.

Honestly I dont know that I could ever trust him again. It would take alot and I do mean alot of openess on his side. He is a very lost soul right now. I pray for him every day. I still love him. I still will treat him with kindness because that is who I am and he deserves kindness. Some people find that hard to believe, but he is just human. We all make mistakes in this life. He is a good man and has a good heart and I can trust him with anything, other than at being faithful. And that is what I need, want and deserve.

Thank you Mila...it did take alot of strength for me to do this. I just think I was afraid to let go. Right now, honestly I feel so relieved, so much better...I cant explain it really. Its not like before when he left me...I wake up and it actually takes me a minute to think "oh, wait he dont live here anymore". That hole isnt quite as big in my heart as before.

I feel good about this step. I know he has a problem and it werent with me! Maybe before I always thought it was me.

Im having a good morning. Im sure at some point though it will hit me again and I will just have to remember to think good thoughts...