OK - breathe, slow down. Its ok to smile and pump your fist in the air in private...but go slow now.
First thing are what are your boundaries to work at a reconcilliation? Transpracency? Retroville? MC? IC? What?
Second, your first answer is I'm not sure, I have to think about it. However you would phrase it, so it is from you and she knows it. Maybe something along the lines of this is quite a shock to me, not was I was expecting and not where I was happily headed with my life, I don't know yet how I feel about this. I'll get back with you
And then make her call you back and bring it up again...
Don't go Melty Man Don't go Melty Man Don't go Melty Man
This. ^ Oh gosh, yes, THIS. ^ ^ ^
Look, I'm not the experts some of the rest of these folks are, but I have done quite a bit of reading of everyone's threads since I came on here, esp. Robx, Coach & Greek, Pearlharbor and OfficerInNeed's. And there are common themes to the ones that work:
DON'T JUMP AT THE FIRST OFFER ("I'm not sure HOW I feel right now ...")
COMPLETE TRANSPARENCY
SHORT LIST OF NON-NEGOTIABLE BOUNDARIES -- "dealbreakers," one poster (I forget who) called them. MC/Retrouvaille, no-contact letter, transparency, STD test - whatever)
DON'T MAKE IT TOO EASY-- THEY HAVE TO EARN THEIR WAY BACK IN TO THE MARRIAGE.
Those seem to make sense to me, but wth do I know, LOL.
