Mila

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At the meeting today I was as cool as a cucumber...poised, calm...I did ask him if he was OK...it was hard not to when he was coming apart right in front of my eyes...but other then that I was as detached as I could be.

I can only imagine how hard it must have been to see his this way. The detachment that you talk about IMO is the peace that you have KNOWING that Mila did everything she could do. The peace that comes with the real acceptance that your H is in a crisis that YOU cannot fix. FWIW, I am soooo proud of YOU Mila.

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The thought of sending him an email after, asking if everything is OK with him has crossed my mind....but only briefly....he is on his own.

As I thought about this I struggled with what to say. I get it. IMO, the Mila walls are up and rightfully so BUT I think a small text or email that says "I hope your ok" would be ok. Right now, the small bit of anger that is left is probably saying..."don't go there" and I can understand. My only comment would be...don't forget to still be the kind, gentle, caring Mila that you are.

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He is definitely going through some kind of meltdown but that still didn't stop him from asking about the progress of the SA that the lawyer is working on...

He is asking about the SA probably because he still think this will make him happy.

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yes after a year and half of misery from H I do crave someone to be nice, attentive and interested in me...yes it's only human...but I'm not ready to cross the line yet...

Mila - I am not one to judge and can sooo relate to the attention thang - i really can. To be honest, I have experienced the same thing. What I want to say is that sometime in our sitch's, things can turn and move quite rapidly. Acknowledge it, realize it, check yourself and then do what YOU feel you want to do. It is your life Mila. FTR, I hope he's handsome smile - may not be the approriate DB thing to say BUT fu*k it.

Mila, i wish you all the happiness and peace in the world. Lord knows you deserve. You deserve Mila just because you are Mila.

Eric

"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans