25yearsmic I just ordered both DB & DR books... They are to arrive on the 1st, which is when my W moves out. I live in WI and from what my attorney said getting primary placement in unlikely unless I can prove W is unfit, which I can't. According to my attorney shared placement and shared custody is typical. My W already made it clear, she will not allow the children to sleep in my home if I don't agree. The best it seems I can get is 50/50 and still have to pay her and she will actually have them more than 50%. I'm still paying her the same but I get the kids more than 50%. I am going to have her pay for all school lunches and her portion of the health and dental premium will be deducted from the monthly child support amount. I just want my kids as much as I can have them... Yes it would be nice to have them and not pay, but no way she's gonna agree to that. So I give up some cash and get my babies... To me it's worth it. Maybe I'm just blind idk.
I got it Bluestar and thanks 25yearsmic. I know it's frustrating for you all, I'm trying trust me. Thank you all for helping. I would be lost and deeply depressed without your help.
25yearsmic I just ordered both DB & DR books... They are to arrive on the 1st, which is when my W moves out. I live in WI and from what my attorney said getting primary placement in unlikely unless I can prove W is unfit, which I can't. According to my attorney shared placement and shared custody is typical.
Typical in most states..
My W already made it clear, she will not allow the children to sleep in my home if I don't agree. Excuse me? She won't "agree"? Who cares? What does your L say?
The best it seems I can get is 50/50 and still have to pay her and she will actually have them more than 50%. I'm still paying her the same but I get the kids more than 50%
I don't understand these two sentences above.
. I am going to have her pay for all school lunches and her portion of the health and dental premium will be deducted from the monthly child support amount. I just want my kids as much as I can have them... Yes it would be nice to have them and not pay, but no way she's gonna agree to that. So I give up some cash and get my babies... To me it's worth it. Maybe I'm just blind idk.
If that's true, it makes total sense.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Yes that's basically it. I will have the kids the large majority of the time and pay her too. As I said it seems unfair, but the goal is really to have the kids as much as I can.
For her it's about money to fund her new life. For me it's about the kids and our marriage. She says she just wants to be able to support the kids... trust me it's about her or maybe a combination of the two. She's trying to get as much as she can. Also she is going for maintenance, not happening, we've only been married 8 years and she's working now.
Just overheard my. W talking to OM... She didn't know I was around and had him on speaker phone. I hears him say he didn't want to be on speaker and and she said she had the little kids and they wouldn't know who he was. Then she started bashing me how she doesn't find me attractive and doesn't like me (I know we have 4 kids, but I don't look at him at all like that). She told him I was a bad person and everything... I was pissed! Then I heard her talk about a possible Halloween party on SAT and she said she could take off at the beginning and go in later. Such a liar! Not sure how involved they are... But I'm thinking he's someone of interest to her. She told him Dec D should be final
well yes he is someone of interest to her, obviously. I know this hurts but you must detach. The more you prolong her ability to dump stuff on you and not handle her "new lovely life" the more you delay her facing reality. make sense?
It's a journey you cannot take for her. Sorry buddy. I know it sucks. But don't fret too much. OM has flaws you won't have. NO ONE IS PERFECT and some of his faults will not be ones you have AND he's not the father of her children. Trust me on this, unless she has zilch maternal feelings, it will matter to her. In time...but where will you be then? that's where YOU get to answer with, "Oh, ME? I will be in my new life meeting interesting people, going to exciting places and doing fun, fascinating things." IOW, You'll be a man only a fool would leave. And yes you can do this with 4 kids. I
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
it takes more logistical planning but it IS doable. Plus, you have 4 great kids and that makes you more attractive to many women, believe it or not.
My close friend and neighbor passed away suddenly at age 42, with 4 kids. Her h is a great guy and we were So sad for him. He's been struggling emotionally to deal with it (yes, truly, they had a very warm and loving marriage with a lot of passion and commitment and it kills me to know how good it was for them only to have it cut short). ANYHOW he 's finally dating and he has found a wonderful woman with one child of her own. She's a lot like his late wife, in a good way. She cannot have any more children but always wished she had a daughter. My friend the widower, has 3 motherless daughters...yes, there IS a God. When you're ready down the road, IF the time comes, I'll pass on his dating advice b/c he sure put some thought into it and it sure has paid off. thank God.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25yearsmic my plan is to not get involved with anyone until after the divorce. I think it's best to focus on me and the kids for the next year at least. I not sure where to even begin on dating and obviously last on my list. I am lonely, but I know I'm not in anyshape to start a relationship. I would like those tips on dating now to save for later. I'd hate to lose contact with u and lose the chance for good advice that I know I need later.
