I'm also realizing why my sitch has been confusing for me, and apparently others here on the board. My W, by her actions, makes me believe a softer approach will work. As I've said over and over, she's actually very pleasant and nice, usually respectful, fun, flirty, and likes to connect with me on a variety of topics. So I give her the benefit of the doubt, give her my kind and trusting side, and she responds by loosing attraction to me.
Taking a tough hard line with her feels wrong, given her pleasant demeanor toward me, but that's what works to make her really respect me and be attracted to me.
I think the right approach is actually not a "tough hard" line, but a "challenging" line, all the while remaining charming and mysterious. Truthfully, I'm exhausted by it all, and the attention of this other woman is refreshingly easy and fun.
