My understanding of infidelity is that there are (at least) two patterns - one being the "sex addict" and the other being the "normal" (!?) affair.
When it comes to clinical depression or addictions, I believe that specialists or programs specifically targeted (like AA, NA, SA, etc) are needed.
Of course they're needed.. That's not the challenge. The challenge is addicts classically are in denial and refuse treatment.
People having affairs are on a dopamine rush and do the same thing - refuse treatment. In the case of infidelity treatment is to end contact with the affair partner and attend family therapy.
Cocaine addicts do the same thing, despite all the programs out there... They refuse treatment until they suffer losses and are confronted with an extraordinary amount of inconvenience...
With infidelity the addiction can be for sex or for romance... Glass covers both.
Helen Fisher has done a great deal of work on Love, breaking it down to sexual lust, the excitement of short term romantic affection, and long term calm of deeply held attachment (marriage)
The problem is all three types of love can be felt for three different people. And in the case of lust one can feel sexual desire for many people at the same time.
An addict can feel romantic affection for an affair partner, and feel the deep long term attachment of a marital partner at the same time as well... This is one of the main drives that brings infidelity about in the first place.
Too many people getting addicted to sex (one night stands, porn) or romance (affairs PA or EA), and not enough people addicted to the calm of long term deep attachment.
There are treatment programs for this much like there are for drugs or alcohol, though far less plentiful of a supply.
The problem is the same : despite the addict being a threat to themselves and others they refuse treatment and maintain denial to their last breath... just like a cocaine addict does...
Fisher's done brain scans on people in short term love and compared them to brain scans of cocaine addicts.. both groups have the exact same areas of the brain stimulated with a dopamine rush...
The LBS watching all this nightmare happen can work on themselves all they want.. It won't do much good. In fact I would argue its just reinforcing the addiction and adding fuel to the fire - the comfort of a well-maintained home and having your dinners made for you doesn't exactly motivate someone to quit a bad habit...
